Free-Spirited Mama: Pamela Anderson on Homebirthing, Intuition and Motherhood
by Ashley Ess
Pamela Anderson may best be known for her sultry roles as an actress (Baywatch, VIP, Barb Wire) and model (Playboy), in addition to her unconventional lifestyle. Behind the persona of the proverbial blonde bombshell, however, sits a remarkably thoughtful intellect; a long-time animal activist; vegetarian; philanthropist; art connoisseur; and avid reader with a penchant for metaphysics. She has dedicated much of her time working with charities such as PETA, The American Liver Foundation and Waves for Water, among many others. Her celebrity has certainly proven to not only have staying power but should be considered anything but a superficial fifteen minutes of fame.
I sat down with Pamela to learn more about a role that few people know exist: conscious parenting and natural birthing advocate. While some celebrities are choosing C-sections or epidurals, she has unabashedly shunned the norm by choosing the natural childbirth route. She is fiercely proud of her decision to homebirth. Pamela is also passionate about raising her two sons, Brandon and Dylan, as consciously and intuitively as possible. As a single mom, she does her best to support their bodies, minds and spirits, with the hope that, as whole children, they will one day become conscious adults. By her own admission she has made mistakes along the way. But at her core, Pamela is an intuitively aware mother… and the conscious family and birthing community welcomes all of those we can get!
Pamela on…
… choosing natural childbirth -- two home water births with a midwife:
It amazes me that I chose natural childbirth. It wasn’t the way I was raised. And I wouldn't say the circle I kept was filled with the most healthy people – not exactly natural living types. Actually, they were quite the opposite. But I'm a voracious reader. I love learning and researching and always want the best. I apply all I learn to everything I do. When I found out I was pregnant I wanted a better life for my children than I had. During my pregnancy I read The Continuum Concept by Jean Leidloff and subscribed to Mothering Magazine. I loved the idea of having a water birth. Natural and at home was the best way to go! I convinced my family that this was a far better choice than a hospital birth and they supported me.
… her birthing experience:
I had a wonderful midwife. I remember foolishly saying, “I can handle pain… I have tattoos!” The wake up call was the first contraction. I was screaming, “If this is what a contraction feels like I can’t do this!” But of course, I did. And I did it again with my second child.
… making early parenting decisions, consciously:
I chose not to circumcise my sons. I believe we need all our body parts.
They were also vaccinated at a much slower rate, with only the crucial ones (still not convinced that any are crucial, but I made sure they weren't over-vaccinated when so small). I chose to spread them out over time. My mother had Polio as a child and couldn’t walk until she was 5. She begged me to vaccinate my kids. We had many conversations about it. And I trusted her. But I also trusted my gut -- as moms we always need to tune into that. My kids are thriving healthy young teenagers now.
… mothering:
I have never done nannies. My mom is the best grandma there is -- she and my dad helped me. My kids are wild, free-spirited handfuls… typical teenagers. All because of me! I am hands-on. I do have a few regrets though. We all make mistakes. I wish I could have given them a traditional family. It burns me to the core that we are not a family of four. But I have tried to be the best mom I can be. And I’ve tried to bring responsible men into their lives ... consistently. But it's tough. Lets just say I have good intentions! This time in their lives – adolescence -- is even harder for moms. Especially single moms. This is a time when we have to sort of disconnect … and all they’ve had up until this time is us. We have to put them first, and give them space. Detach. It's very hard. They know they are loved … they will prevail. We have to know that.
As parents it's important to nourish our kids’ dreams... without banging them over the head with false hope. You can be anything you want to be but you have to work your butt off. Enjoy hard work. And know that you'll only succeed if you apply yourself.
… philanthropy:
I just returned from Brazil. I took my oldest son on his first humanitarian/surf trip. We went with Waves for Water, an organization whose goal it is to bring clean drinking water to everyone who needs it. We spent two days in the slums giving clean water to children that don’t have it. Something as simple as water we take for granted here. We then spent to days surfing. I know this trip resonated in him. It’s a balance. Doing good things are just natural extensions of humanity. I'm proud I’ve included my kids in my philanthropic journey.
… how her decisions to birth naturally and parent alternatively has affected her and her children:
We'll see. That’s the mysterious part of having children. How will they turn out … despite personal obstacles. I'm happy I gave birth naturally. And I did and am doing the best I can. I don’t have to be their best friend or even be liked sometimes. I'm their mother. And they will get the best education I can supply for them. They can fight me all they want. Education is key so when they are on their own they can make well thought-out decisions.
I didn’t start off brilliantly to end weak. I will persevere and be a pillar for my kids. That, I HOPE, will be appreciated one day.
Fingers crossed.
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